Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
