I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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