hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize