Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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