My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize