They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
