9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
