On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
