i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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