just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
