normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
