But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
