tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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