Plan B is the new Plan A
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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