I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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