would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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