just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
false alarm. still invincible.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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