Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.