The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom