I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
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