it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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