Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
