i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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