After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
