You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize