So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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