how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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