Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize