ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
