Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
