I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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