Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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