4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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