Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
