i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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