i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
