i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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