There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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