yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
