And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
