You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
