This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
