He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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