Sry I called you an 8
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
