i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
