So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
As shirtless as possible
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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