she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
