You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize