I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
