The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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