What tipped you off? The sombrero?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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