This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
