Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
