there was a trapeze. enough said
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
