My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
