i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
is it fun? or sober?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize