We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
