I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
