Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I had to cum in my sink.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
