thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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