hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
