i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm at about main and main street
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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