Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
