I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
