I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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